OLD FART PRIDE

By , May 11, 2012 1:11 pm

OLD FART PRIDE

I never really liked the terminology “Old Farts” but this makes
me feel better about it.

And if you ain’t one, I bet ya you know one!

I got this from an “Old Fart” friend of mine!

 

OLD FART PRIDE

I’m passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart
receiving it. Actually, it’s not a bad thing to be called, as you will see.

  • Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the
    playing of the National Anthem. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at
    attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe
    in them.
  • Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbor , Guadalcanal
    , Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The
    Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus
    Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam .
  • If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will
    apologize. If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his
    cap to a lady. Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.
  • Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when
    walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
  • Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of
    women and children and they don’t like any filth or dirty language on TV
    or in movies.
  • Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They
    seldom brag unless it’s about their children or grandchildren.
  • It’s the Old Farts who know our great country is protected,
    not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving
    their country.

    This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of
    responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.

    We need them now more than ever.

    Thank God for Old
    Farts!

    Pass this on to all the “Old Farts” you know.

I was taught to respect my elders….It’s just getting harder to find them.

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CURTAIN RODS—-Priceless

By , May 2, 2012 6:54 pm

CURTAIN RODS—-Priceless

She spent the first day
packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she
had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she
sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by
candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of
shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of spring water.

When she had finished,
she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells
dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the
kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was
bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house
began to smell.

They tried everything;
cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for
dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung
everywhere.

Exterminators were
brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a
few days.

And in the end they even
paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.!!!

People stopped coming
over to visit.

Repairmen refused to
work in the house.

The maid quit.

Finally, they could not
take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even
though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their
stinky house.

Word got out and
eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to
borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the
man and asked, ‘Oh, how are things going’?

He told her the saga of
the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home
terrible and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for
getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had
no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of
what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that
very day.

She agreed and within
the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and
his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything
to take to their new home……

And to spite the
ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING,
DON’T YOU ?!?!?

Life…is the hardest
teacher…

it gives you the test
before the lesson, no review, no quiz and then…no retakes.

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