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By Admin, May 11, 2012 1:11 pm

OLD FART PRIDE

I never really liked the terminology “Old Farts” but this makes
me feel better about it.

And if you ain’t one, I bet ya you know one!

I got this from an “Old Fart” friend of mine!

OLD FART PRIDE

I’m passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart
receiving it. Actually, it’s not a bad thing to be called, as you will see.

• Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the
  playing of the National Anthem. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at
  attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe
  in them.
• Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbor , Guadalcanal
  , Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The
  Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus
  Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam .
• If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will
  apologize. If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his
  cap to a lady. Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.
• Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when
  walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
• Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of
  women and children and they don’t like any filth or dirty language on TV
  or in movies.
• Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They
  seldom brag unless it’s about their children or grandchildren.
• It’s the Old Farts who know our great country is protected,
  not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving
  their country.

  This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of
  responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.

  We need them now more than ever.

  Thank God for Old
  Farts!

  Pass this on to all the “Old Farts” you know.

I was taught to respect my elders….It’s just getting harder to find them.

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By Admin, May 2, 2012 6:54 pm

CURTAIN RODS—-Priceless

it gives you the test
before the lesson, no review, no quiz and then…no retakes.

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By Admin, February 29, 2012 9:39 pm

Just a little humor to brighten your
day!

She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone
else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my
favorite animal.

He said they love animals very much.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I
told her, “Colonel Sanders.”

Guess where I am now…

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By Admin, October 25, 2011 8:05 pm

What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

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By Admin, June 15, 2011 3:50 pm

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

This, my friends, is how Congress operates… and is why, from time to time, all of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME.

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By Admin, May 18, 2011 6:01 pm

Could this be true?

INTERESTING OBSERVATION

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

And….

6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls

become.

There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!

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By Admin, April 1, 2011 7:08 pm

Once I was cooking some corn and stuck my fork in the boiling
Water to see if the corn was ready.   I missed and my hand went
Into the boiling water….
 
A friend of mine, who was a Vietnam vet, came into the house, just
As I was screaming, and asked me if I had some plain old flour…I
Pulled out a bag and he stuck my hand in it.  He said to keep my hand
In the flour for 10 mins. Which I did.  He said that in Vietnam , this guy
Was on fire and in their panic, they threw a bag of flour all over him to
Put the fire out…well, it not only put the flour out, but he never even had
A blister!!!!
 
SOOOO, long story short, I put my hand in the bag of flour for 10 mins,
Pulled it out and had not even a red mark or a blister and absolutley NO
PAIN.  Now, I keep a bag of flour in the fridge and every time I burn myself,
I use the flour and never ONCE have I ever had a red spot, a burn or a blister!
*cold flour feels even better than room temperature flour.

   Keep a bag of white flour in your fridge and you will be
Happy you did.  I even burnt my tongue and put the flour on it for about 10 mins.
And the pain was gone and no burn.  Try it!  BTW, don’t run your burn area under
Cold water first, just put it right into the flour for 10 mins and experience a miracle

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By Admin, March 24, 2011 6:22 pm

 CATHOLIC SHAMPOO

TWO NUNS WERE SHOPPING AT A 7-11  STORE.  AS THEY PASSED  BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE  OTHER, ” WOULDN’T A NICE COOL  BEER OR TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT  SUMMER EVENING?” 

THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED,  “INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER, BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER, SINCE I AM  CERTAIN IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE AT THE CHECKOUT STAND.” 
 
“I CAN HANDLE THAT WITHOUT A  PROBLEM” THE OTHER NUN REPLIED, AND SHE  PICKED UP A SIX-PACK AND HEADED FOR THE  CHECK-OUT. 
                                                        
THE CASHIER HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN THE TWO NUNS ARRIVED WITH A SIX-PACK OF BEER.  “WE  USE BEER FOR WASHING OUR HAIR” THE NUN SAID, “BACK AT OUR NUNNERY, WE CALL IT CATHOLIC SHAMPOO.
 
WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE, THE  CASHIER REACHED UNDER THE COUNTER. PULLED OUT A PACKAGE OF PRETZEL STICKS, AND  PLACED THEM IN THE BAG WITH THE BEER. 
 
HE THEN LOOKED THE NUN STRAIGHT IN THE  EYE, SMILED, AND SAID:  “THE CURLERS ARE ON THE  HOUSE.”

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By Admin, February 23, 2011 1:40 pm

     I thought this was important enough to pass on to all of you. I believe this could actually be going on. Crooks are very smart out there. We were somehow “scammed” during the holidays–someone got hold of our Discover card number and somehow charged almost $1,000 in gas stations–all on the same day and all in Orlando!! (No, we were not even in Orlando at the time–hadn’t been for several weeks). Luckily Discover called us immediately and cancelled the account. My husband and I were both still in possession of our cards. Discover caught it and there is $0 liability, but it can happen to anyone. How “they” knew our zip code, which you always have to put in, is beyond me. So PLEASE BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!!!Subject: Fw: Warning about Jury Duty – please read and pass on 

   
  Pass this on to your grown children. This has been verified by the FBI
(their link is also included below). Please pass this on to everyone in your
email address book. It is spreading fast so be prepared should you get this
call. Most of us take those summonses for jury duty seriously, but enough
people skip out on their civic duty that a new and ominous kind of fraud has
surfaced.
   
  The caller claims to be a jury DUTY coordinator. If you protest that you
never received a summons for jury duty, the Scammer asks you for your Social
Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information
and cancel the arrest warrant. Give out any of this information and bingo,
your identity was just stolen.
   
  The fraud has been reported so far in 11 states, including Ohio ,
Oklahoma , Illinois , and Colorado . This (swindle) is particularly
insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try to bully
people into giving information by pretending they are with the court system.

   
  The FBI and the federal court system have issued nationwide alerts on
their web sites, warning consumers about the fraud.

                      Check it out here:
http://www.fbi.gov/page2/june06/jury_scams060206.htm
<http://www.fbi.gov/page2/june06/jury_scams060206.htm>
   
                      And here:
http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/juryduty.asp
<http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/juryduty.asp> 
                      Yep! It’s true

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By Admin, January 12, 2011 7:22 pm

Five surgeons from big cities were discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.  The first surgeon, from New York , said, “I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”  The second, from Chicago, responded, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”  The third surgeon, from Dallas , said, “No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”  The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles, chimed in: “I like construction workers best. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”  But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC , shut them all up when he observed, “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.”

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