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By Admin, October 25, 2011 8:05 pm

What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

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By Admin, June 15, 2011 3:50 pm

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

This, my friends, is how Congress operates… and is why, from time to time, all of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME.

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By Admin, May 18, 2011 6:01 pm

Could this be true?

INTERESTING OBSERVATION

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

And….

6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls

become.

There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!

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By Admin, April 1, 2011 7:08 pm

Once I was cooking some corn and stuck my fork in the boiling
Water to see if the corn was ready.   I missed and my hand went
Into the boiling water….
 
A friend of mine, who was a Vietnam vet, came into the house, just
As I was screaming, and asked me if I had some plain old flour…I
Pulled out a bag and he stuck my hand in it.  He said to keep my hand
In the flour for 10 mins. Which I did.  He said that in Vietnam , this guy
Was on fire and in their panic, they threw a bag of flour all over him to
Put the fire out…well, it not only put the flour out, but he never even had
A blister!!!!
 
SOOOO, long story short, I put my hand in the bag of flour for 10 mins,
Pulled it out and had not even a red mark or a blister and absolutley NO
PAIN.  Now, I keep a bag of flour in the fridge and every time I burn myself,
I use the flour and never ONCE have I ever had a red spot, a burn or a blister!
*cold flour feels even better than room temperature flour.

   Keep a bag of white flour in your fridge and you will be
Happy you did.  I even burnt my tongue and put the flour on it for about 10 mins.
And the pain was gone and no burn.  Try it!  BTW, don’t run your burn area under
Cold water first, just put it right into the flour for 10 mins and experience a miracle

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By Admin, March 24, 2011 6:22 pm

 CATHOLIC SHAMPOO

TWO NUNS WERE SHOPPING AT A 7-11  STORE.  AS THEY PASSED  BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE  OTHER, ” WOULDN’T A NICE COOL  BEER OR TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT  SUMMER EVENING?” 

THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED,  “INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER, BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER, SINCE I AM  CERTAIN IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE AT THE CHECKOUT STAND.” 
 
“I CAN HANDLE THAT WITHOUT A  PROBLEM” THE OTHER NUN REPLIED, AND SHE  PICKED UP A SIX-PACK AND HEADED FOR THE  CHECK-OUT. 
                                                        
THE CASHIER HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN THE TWO NUNS ARRIVED WITH A SIX-PACK OF BEER.  “WE  USE BEER FOR WASHING OUR HAIR” THE NUN SAID, “BACK AT OUR NUNNERY, WE CALL IT CATHOLIC SHAMPOO.
 
WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE, THE  CASHIER REACHED UNDER THE COUNTER. PULLED OUT A PACKAGE OF PRETZEL STICKS, AND  PLACED THEM IN THE BAG WITH THE BEER. 
 
HE THEN LOOKED THE NUN STRAIGHT IN THE  EYE, SMILED, AND SAID:  “THE CURLERS ARE ON THE  HOUSE.”

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By Admin, February 23, 2011 1:40 pm

     I thought this was important enough to pass on to all of you. I believe this could actually be going on. Crooks are very smart out there. We were somehow “scammed” during the holidays–someone got hold of our Discover card number and somehow charged almost $1,000 in gas stations–all on the same day and all in Orlando!! (No, we were not even in Orlando at the time–hadn’t been for several weeks). Luckily Discover called us immediately and cancelled the account. My husband and I were both still in possession of our cards. Discover caught it and there is $0 liability, but it can happen to anyone. How “they” knew our zip code, which you always have to put in, is beyond me. So PLEASE BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!!!Subject: Fw: Warning about Jury Duty – please read and pass on 

   
  Pass this on to your grown children. This has been verified by the FBI
(their link is also included below). Please pass this on to everyone in your
email address book. It is spreading fast so be prepared should you get this
call. Most of us take those summonses for jury duty seriously, but enough
people skip out on their civic duty that a new and ominous kind of fraud has
surfaced.
   
  The caller claims to be a jury DUTY coordinator. If you protest that you
never received a summons for jury duty, the Scammer asks you for your Social
Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information
and cancel the arrest warrant. Give out any of this information and bingo,
your identity was just stolen.
   
  The fraud has been reported so far in 11 states, including Ohio ,
Oklahoma , Illinois , and Colorado . This (swindle) is particularly
insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try to bully
people into giving information by pretending they are with the court system.

   
  The FBI and the federal court system have issued nationwide alerts on
their web sites, warning consumers about the fraud.

                      Check it out here:
http://www.fbi.gov/page2/june06/jury_scams060206.htm
<http://www.fbi.gov/page2/june06/jury_scams060206.htm>
   
                      And here:
http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/juryduty.asp
<http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/juryduty.asp> 
                      Yep! It’s true

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By Admin, January 12, 2011 7:22 pm

Five surgeons from big cities were discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.  The first surgeon, from New York , said, “I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”  The second, from Chicago, responded, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”  The third surgeon, from Dallas , said, “No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”  The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles, chimed in: “I like construction workers best. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”  But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC , shut them all up when he observed, “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.”

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By Admin, December 28, 2010 5:58 pm

true or not, but read it just in case
 
Costly NEW AREA CODE: READ AND PASS ALONG
 
New Area Code – PLEASE READ Be sure you read this and pass it on.
 
809 Area Code 

We actually received a call last week from the 809 area code. The woman said ‘Hey, this is Karen. Sorry I missed you- get back to us quickly.
I have something important to tell you.’ Then she repeated a phone number beginning with 809. We did not respond. Then this week,
we received the following e-mail:
 
Do Not DIAL AREA CODE 809, 284, AND 876 from
the U.S. or Canada .
 
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION PROVIDED TO US BY AT&T. DON’T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809
 
This one is being distributed all over the US … This is pretty scary, especially given the way they try to get you to call.
 
Be sure you read this and pass it on.
 
They get you to call by telling you that it is information about a family member who has been ill or to tell you someone has been arrested, died,
or to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc.. In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right away. Since there are so
many new area codes these days, people unknowingly return these calls.
 
If you call from the U.S. or Canada , you will apparently be charged a minimum of  $2425 per-minute.
 
And you’ll also get a long recorded message. The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long as possible to increase the charges. 
WHY IT WORKS:
 
The 809 area code is located in the Dominican Republic. The charges afterward can become a real nightmare. That’s because you did
actually make the call. If you complain, both your local phone company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved
and will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the foreign company. You’ll end up dealing with a foreign company
that argues they have done nothing wrong.
 
Please forward this entire message to your friends, family and colleagues to help them become aware of this scam.
 
AT&T VERIFIES IT’S TRUE :http://www.att.com/gen/press-
room?pid=6045 
 
SNOPES VERIFIES IT’S
TRUE:http://www.snopes.com/fraud/telephone/809..asp

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By Admin, December 16, 2010 6:50 pm

                       The True Story of Rudolph
A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.  His
4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob’s wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer.  Little Barbara couldn’t understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad’s eyes and asked, “Why isn’t Mommy just like everybody else’s Mommy?”
Bob’s jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob’s life.
Life always had to be different for Bob.
Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys.  He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called > names he’d rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and
was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn’s bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings
and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in  1938.
Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn’t even afford  to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn’t buy a gift, he was determined to make one – a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal’s story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more  with each telling. Who was the character? What was the story all about?
The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob
finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on
Christmas  Day.
But the story doesn’t end there.
The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book.
Wards went on to print,_ Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer_ and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book.
In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a
growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story doesn’t end there either.
Bob’s brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore , it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry.
“Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of “White Christmas.”
The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn’t so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.

MERRY CHRISTMAS    2010

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By Admin, December 3, 2010 6:27 pm

POPE’S VACATION

 The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains ofAlaska.

He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a ‘Vote for Obama’ hat and a ‘Save the Trees’ shirt.
The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about, and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

“Well,” the logger said, “he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn’t know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?”
 

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